


in the eye of a hurricane (there is quiet)

by nyckolodeo_n



Series: you are the rain that will help me grow [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:16:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyckolodeo_n/pseuds/nyckolodeo_n
Summary: He watches as Alex's shoulders loosen and his smile grows and his laughter echoes through the room probably carrying down the hall to where his little sisters is sound asleep. He watches and watches because over the years James' infatuation with this boy has never faded, has done nothing but grow and spread through his body and his life and it reflects in everything he does. It is no coincidence that it is only around Alex that he loses control of his powers, that he throws caution to the wind to keep this boy, his Alexander, as happy as he can.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beetheauxven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetheauxven/gifts), [danwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/danwrites/gifts).



> i would like to thank not only god but jesus for google translate.  
> ( still don't own Hamilton )

When there's a loud crash outside his window at what can only be described as ass-o'clock in the morning, James sighs into his pillow and summons a grape vine to open the window. He doesn't bother lifting his head to welcome the intruder. The wind has suddenly picked up outside and James can only guess that that's how Alexander got from his window to James' without being caught by either of their parents or setting off either of their alarms. James isn't sure why Alexander bothers sneaking around anymore, their parents had decided to stop trying to separate them from each other years ago after a particularly large fit that Alexander threw when James and his mother went on vacation without letting him know.

Apparently, the resulting storm was so bad that school had been cancelled for three days.

"Psst," Alex whispers, "Hey, Jem, you up?" Sometimes James forgets that, though Alexander is now almost 15, he still doesn't have any sense of boundaries or an internal clock telling him when certain things are and aren't acceptable. He takes good care of himself, he just gets so excited sometimes that he forgets the social cues him and James have been working on; like now. "James, man, wake up."

"Alexander, it is," James glances at his alarm clock, "too fucking early, what on earth do you want?" There's a very long pause, and James is on the verge of asking again-more politely-when Alexander speaks up.

"Um- I just..." Alex is fumbling over his words, and that's enough to cause James to sit up abruptly and turn to the boy that's bust his way into his bedroom at 3 in the morning. "I, um, c-couldn't sleep." His eyes are red and puffy, like he's been crying, and his entire body is shaking. James glances outside and notices that it's raining heavily without being considered a storm. It doesn't rain in December in New York; James is sure meteorologists are gonna have a lot of work on their hands explaining that in the morning.

"Alexander, _parum leo_ ," James whispers and the other boy slowly looks up from where he's fiddling with his fingers and shuffling on his feet. In the four and a half years James has known him, Alex has never been quiet or at a loss for words. James silently curses whatever has caused this and tries again. "Alex, come here, honey," he says, a little more confidently as he moves over in bed and opens his arms in invitation.

Alexander basically _sprints_ to the bed.

It happens so quick, it's almost like Alex flies to the bed; one second he is standing next to James'-finally closed- window, and the next he is holding onto his friend with the intensity of a touch starved koala. James lowers them so that they're actually laying down in the bed and arranges them so that Alexander is on top, arms wrapped around James' torso while he buries his face in the older boy's chest. There are wet stains forming on James' sleep shirt that James unrealistically wants to be from the rain outside but knows better, and James just holds him tighter hoping that his presence will help calm Alex down enough to talk about what's bothering him. He whispers reassuring things in the other boy's hair while he massages Alexander's back, sometimes in English and sometimes in Latin. He talks about his day and tells a story about this new boy named Thomas who tried flirting with one of the Schuyler sisters in class during English. He does everything he can, eyes on the window so he can keep track of Alexander's mood. As his sobs slow down, so does the rain, until there's a light drizzle that you can only see if you squint. James sighs in quiet relief that it didn't take too long to calm him down.

James' plants, however, are not so easily comforted.

James' plants, much like people, are actually sentient in their own way. They have feelings and can sense mood changes, and have done so with James his entire life. When James had gone to Alexander's house all those years ago, and they had bonded over their shared abilities, the plants took the same liking to Alexander that James had in those first ten minutes of knowing him. The daffodils and sunflowers loved him, always giving off waves of content and having seemingly brighter blooms when he was around. Many times, alstroemerias would randomly pop up in Alex's hair, much to his delight and amusement. James' plants essentially became Alex's plants and the day James realized this development may have been the best day of his life.

(He promptly ignores it when tulips and hydrangeas are suddenly all over James' room and on Alex's things. And he doesn't tell Alex what they mean no matter how many times he asks.)

(He also ignores the fact that no matter what mood Alexander is in, the rain he creates seems to always miss any part of James' body.)

Alexander shifts slightly and James looks down to see him staring up at James, eyes still puffy and looking much more tired than he did when he climbed in the bed. James smiles softly down at him and Alex responds by giving James' torso a quick squeeze before letting go. He rearranges them so that they're laying side by side and facing each other, faces mere inches apart, and James can see anthuriums weave through Alex's hair as they look at each other. James huffs a short laugh and pulls them out so they make themselves into a crown and then replaces them where they want to be. Alex watches on silently, a look of awe and contentment on his face. James has learned to be patient during times like this. It's only ever happened one other time, when Alex's father left him and his mother, but that was enough times to know that when he's like this, Alexander will only talk when he's ready.

James sees his vines curling down from the ceiling towards Alex, and he doesn't have enough time to warn Alex of their presence before they're curling around the younger boy, offering warmth and comfort. That's what James is assuming they're doing anyways, until Alexander starts giggling and squirming in bed. The breath from his laughter hits James' nose and he scrunches it up in disgust, causing Alexander to laugh harder and scoot closer to James while he tries to escape the holds of the vines. James is tempted to berate the vines for misbehaving, but Alex's smile is bright and his eyes are less sunken in than before so Madison refrains.

Instead, he just watches.

He watches as Alex's shoulders loosen and his smile grows and his laughter echoes through the room probably carrying down the hall to where his little sisters is sound asleep. He watches and watches because over the years James' infatuation with this boy has never faded, has done nothing but grow and spread through his body and his life and it reflects in everything he does. It is no coincidence that it is only around Alex that he loses control of his powers, that he throws caution to the wind to keep this boy, _his_ Alexander, as happy as he can.

"Make her stop, Jem," Alexander says, still giggling, "Jem, please, make Gamora stop." James rolls his eyes at the name Alex was determined to give his vines, but he gives in after a few more minutes.

"Alright, Gam, that's enough," James says, and the vine in question unwraps from around Alex to looks at James in the plant equivalent form of a glare, causing Alexander to laugh and James to roll his eyes again. "You've done a great job, kid, but _parum leo_ and I need to talk. You and the girls go back to sleep." She stares at him for another ten seconds before she takes what he says at face value, curling back to her spot on the wall and mothering the other flowers and plants to do the same. When James looks back at Alexander, he's staring at him in much the same way he had when they had first met, smile wide and eyes bright.

"You amaze me everyday, y'know that Jem?" Alexander says, voice barely above a whisper. His voice is full of adoration, and James can hardly breathe, instead clears his throat and gets back on track before Alex can digress any further.

"Alex," James says, soft and careful, "we should talk about it." Alexander's smile doesn't disappear but it is a near thing. It gets considerably smaller and the taller boy ducks his head, but he doesn't offer any information. James is content to wait, knows that if he rushes Alex nothing good will come of this and arguing with each other is not what he wants. He gives his friend a few more minutes before he tries again, " _Leo_..." Alex looks up at him and his eyes the are glossy with tears again. James sees Gamora hover over her spot on the wall, but when the other boy starts to talk he completely ignores the plants' existence.

" _Maman_ is," He takes a deep breath and tries again, " _Maman_ is still sick. The, um, the doctors say that she likely won't last the month." A tear rolls down his cheek and James instinctively reaches out to brush it away with the pad of his thumb. The other boy sniffles and smiles in thanks before continuing. "When she- if she passes away, i uh..." Alexander bites his lip as he chokes out a sob. James lets him take his time, can only guess what's going to come out of the other boy's mouth. He's afraid he isn't going to like it. "If she doesn't make it, I have to move back home." James furrows his brow in confusion before it hits him. Alexander confirms it for him when he finishes with, "I have to move back to the Caribbean with my cousins."

His thumb freezes on his friend's cheek, and Alexander looks up at his eyes in worry. Madison can only imagine what his face looks like, can feel his heart pounding inside his chest as he lets the information sink in. Alexander, _his_ Alexander Hamilton, is going to leave him soon. And there isn't a single thing that James can do about it. His heartbeat is stead rising, and he can see Alex talking to him but he has no idea what he's saying, because no. His Alex can't leave, he's the only person who has ever understood James, has ever given him the time of day, and they're best friends; what is James supposed to do without him?

There's a hand on his cheek and when James looks up from where his gaze has dropped to Alexander's chest, his friend's eyes are filled with worry, wide and unrelenting in their ability to captivate James no matter what. Alex slowly takes James' hand from where it's laying under his own head and places it on the younger boy's chest. James can feel the vibrations of him talking to James and focuses on the to calm himself down, can feel Alex taking purposeful breaths for James to reciprocate and copy and within five minutes, Madison can hear again, can hear Alex's praises and him joking about how if anyone should be freaking out it's Alex because he's very out of practice with his own country's culture, he's gonna stick out like a sore thumb. James glares at him for that and it causes his friend to laugh.

"There you are," Alex says, soft and sweet, "I missed you, Jem." James snorts a laugh and Alex brings them closer together, James naturally tucking the younger boy's head to his chest and wrapping his arms around his neck. James can feel Gamora wrap loosely around them in a comforting embrace and can see anemone and hydrangea sprout around them on the bed. There is a single tulip staring James down from her spot on his desk, and he just minutely shakes his head. This is not the time. He's brought back out of his thoughts by Alexander nuzzling further into James chest.

"I'm going to miss you, James," he says, like he knows that no matter how much he wishes for it, moving is as inevitable as the sun rising the next morning, and James supposes he's right. Alex's mother has been sick for quite some time now, and while Alex had the same illness for a time, he got better rather quickly. "I haven't seen my cousins in so long, what if they hate me for leaving with _Maman_?" His voice is very soft, barely above a whisper, and James would think he isn't supposed to hear the question until Alex taps his back with his index finger, looking for a real answer.

James doesn't really have one. He doesn't know a lot about his friend's cousins, James and Usnavi, except that Alexander likes Usnavi better. He's kept in touch with Alexander more over the past few years and doesn't hate Alexander for his bastard status. He sends him trinkets twice a year, on his birthday and for Christmas, and had always had an open heart for Alex and his gift. Sometimes the two of them write letters just to see which of them writes better ones and they use Madison as a judge. James has talked to Usnavi maybe twice during his Skype calls with Alexander, but he doesn't know much about him. He's pretty positive that the Puerto Rican definitely won't resent his friend for his and his mother's decision to come to the states all those years ago.

"You know Usnavi loves you, _leo_ , don't be silly. He'll probably be busy helping your _Tia_ with Sonny, but you know he'll always make time for you." Alexander smiles into his chest, so James keeps talking. "Besides, Usnavi's coming to America in a few years, anyways, so maybe if you're good you can just come back with him then." He doesn't say that he doesn't want Alexander to go, doesn't say that he doesn't want to talk about Usnavi because right now he's a little envious that in a few short weeks the Puerto Rican will be taking his Alexander away from him, doesn't think about what might happen if Alex gets there and Usnavi and James-most likely James, because that son of a bitch has never liked Madison-tell him that he is supposed to cut all ties to anyone in America. He doesn't say any of this but Hamilton has known him for years, knows all his ticks and all his insecurities and he can probably yell by the stiffness in his voice and hold that James doesn't want to talk about it anymore. They sit there in silence for a few more minutes before Alexander pulls back and looks at the time on the alarm clock; it's 5:15.

"I should probably go back to _Maman_ ," he says, yawning around his words. He looks at James and smiles sadly, "If she wakes up and I'm not there, she'll panic and make her sickness worse." He starts to get out bed, but Madison grabs his wrist and sits up crossing his legs. Alexander mimics the motion, facing the shorter boy with confusion on his face.

Glancing past his friend he can see the tulip staring at him again, and with a flick of his wrist he procures a dress blossom, the pink of its petals more healthy than any of the ones he's ever made. It twirls and dances above his free hand and Alex's face lights up with glee. James creates more and more of them and they habitually weave together to make a crown for Alex. When there is a suitable amout, James releases Alex's wrist to send the anthuriums, hydrangeas, and anemone to their respective plant families around the room. He motions for Alex to lower his head and when the other boy obeys, he places the crown of flowers lightly on his head. Alexander lifts his head back up and has a small smile on his face.

"I love you, too, Jem." He whispers, a single tear falling down his cheek. James laughs and scoots closer to him and softly cradles his face in both hands-of course Alexander figured it out; he knows how to use a computer after all. He can feel his own tears falling down his face and he closes his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts before he completes his next action. James opens his eyes, gets on his knees and slowly leans forward, hovering for just a moment. "James," Alex breathes out, and Madison can feel it on his face, can feel it tickle his chin. It makes him smile.

" _Leo meum_ ," James whispers, " _Ego dilexi te_." Madison raises up and places a kiss on the other boy's forehead, lowers himself a little to place a kiss on Alexander's nose, the sits level with him, eyes meeting and lips barely an inch apart. "I do not wish to see you go, _parum leo_."

"Jem-" Alexander starts, but James does not let him finish.

He gathers all the courage he has lacked and presses forward to place a final kiss on Alexander's lips. It is soft, wet and salty from their tears, and quick. When James pulls back, Alexander's eyes are wide and he is crying more openly. Then he says, "Say it again, James. Jem, tell me one more time." They haven't moved far from each other, so he can Alex's words on his own mouth. "James, please."

" _Te amo_ , Alexander," the smaller boy whispers, "I love you." He can feel Alexander's smile against his own mouth and it's all James needs to push forward one more time to steal just one more kiss. He keeps it chaste, and when he pulls back he rests his forehead against Alexander's, and Alex's own hands have found their way to his own face, holding onto James' hands like they're a lifeline and if he lets go, they'll both die instantly.

"It took you long enough, you idiot," Alex laughs out and kisses James again. They sit like that for a minute more before Alex pulls back, and smiles sadly. "I have to go," his voice is barely above a whisper, and me makes no real move to leave, but James knows he has to let go, has to let his Alex leave and be with the person who needs him more than James could ever compete with. This will probably be the last time James sees Alex, knows his friend won't risk leaving his mother again after tonight, so he pushes forward one last time. This kiss lasts longer, but gets no more heated than the other ones, and when he pulls back he takes his hands back too and frantically wipes the tears off his cheeks.

"We will see each other again, I will make sure of it," Alex says. He brushes the pad of his thumb across James' bottom lip, smiles softly, and then he's off the bed and next to James window, Gamora already pulling it open for him to leave. The wind has picked up outside again, confirming James' original theory of Alex's mode of transportation.

"Don't forget to write me, you prick," James says, smiling through his tears. Alex turns around, laughing at James as he starts to climb through the window. It's taking everything in James' body not to run over and pull him back in. "I'll come to Puerto Rico to kill you myself if I have to."

"Like you'll need to," Hamilton laughs, "Usnavi will kill me before you even get on a flight if he finds out I left you behind without means of communication." James laughs, too and it's nice, pretending like they're going to see each other in class tomorrow. Alex puts his other foot out the window and turns to look at James one more time. " _Je t'aime_ , Jem. I'll see you soon, okay." And then he jumps out the window, riding the wind back over to where his own window is still open from earlier.

James lays back down, staring at the ceiling as Gamora weaves her way around his body in a comforting gesture. He ignores every fiber in his body that's telling him to run out the front door and kiss Alex one more time, just one more time and he'll be content, can lie to himself and say that he'll be okay when Alex leaves, that he won't miss him at all.

"I love you, too, _parum leo_." James whispers to himself, eyes drifting closed as he falls into a fitful sleep.

-x-

Alex's mother doesn't make it through the next night.

Alexander, himself, is gone not twelve hours later; there is only an endless storm and a single pink tulip on James' window sill that proves he was ever there at all.

**Author's Note:**

>  _parum leo_ = little lion
> 
>  _leo meum_ = my lion
> 
>  _Ego dilexi te_ = i love you


End file.
